emails are like blogs

I was writing an email to my friend Leah Goode today and I found it amusing enough to turn it into a blog post. You may disagree and find it completely useless, but you aren't the one in charge of this blog...so I guess you'll just have to suck it up. She was asking about my trip to California. Enjoy. Or not. But read it anyway.

"Hey goodes...

Okay...cali details first. http://www.gymblast.com/calbreak/media/media.html
That is the link to some old pictures and video from the previous years. The current stuff isn't up on the website yet. It was delisciously awesome. We went to Disney Land and I'm pretty sure Tara peed her pants at least seven times. Twice in line waiting to meet Mickey, once while meeting Mickey, a couple of times on rides and once waiting in line for the washroom...that one was kinda embarrasing because it was really because she couldn't hold it...not because of excitement at all. Plus when you pee your pants from excitement it's usually just a little spill...but when you pee your pants because you can't hold it ... it gets downright messy.

We also went to a couple theme parks (Knott's Berry Farm and Six Flags Magic Mountain). It was crazy awesome. Big rides big thrills big security guards waiting at the gate to take your outside snacks away.

There were also a few deadly beaches that we went to...very fun. Tara and I got to try surfing. We sucked a lot. A bunch of other people got to go another day with lessons and stuff and they all learned how to stand up and really surf. Me and Tj got really good and getting hammered by giant waves. Once my head hit the bottom. Not hard or anything, but it was still scary. Not scary because I was hurt...but because of how I could have gotten hurt if I hit my head harder.

We did other things but those were the highlights.....besides talking about Jesus with the students of course which was also fun.

Re-reading this email I've written, I'm starting to think that this might be blog material. I think I'm going to turn this into a blog post actually. If you want to check it out go to curtass.blogspot.com.

Curt."

so tasty

It's kinda funny how everyone and their dog was blogging up a storm...and then suddenly it all stopped. Well here I am writing another entry in my blog, and now that no one cares about blogs anymore no one will read it. But quite frankly that doens't really bother me all that much. I think I've figured out that these blog entries are mostly for my own enjoyment. It's like I can re-read the things that I write...and think to myself "Gosh I'm hecka funny."

So tonite after D4 (my youth group type thing) I decided to stop by Mac's and grab a Twister. I don't know if that's actually what they are called, but basically it's slush with soft ice-cream in the bottom. I usually get it with Orange or Grape or Cream Soda slush. Tastes like you're drinking a creamsicle. It's deliscious. So I stopped off and grabbed two-one for Tara and me. Tara had already gone home because she gave someone a ride home from D4. On the way home I was sipping my drink, totally enthralled in the enjoyment of the extensive taste...when I was thinking how funny it would be if Tara had the same idea and stopped off at Mac's on her way home from D4. At first I was amused at the hypothetical irony. Then I thought about how if that actually happened...we would each get two Twisters. Then I started thinking about how Tara would never be able to finish two Twisters, so I would actually get at least 2 and a half - probably more like three Twisters. Oh my. Suddenly I found myself actually hoping that I would show up at the house and Tara would be waiting with an Orange Twister for me (I picked up Cream Soda twisters and I figured a little variety would be nice).

Turns out that Tara wasn't even home yet when I got home. To make things worse I didn't have house keys on my person (I think it's funny when people say 'on my person' so I used it just now just to be funny) so I had to wait outside until Tara got home. It worked out pretty good though because I waited around the corner just before the entrance to our house and scared the begeezus out of Tara. It was awesome. She didn't have any Twisters though. That was not awesome.

Peace has officially been restored 70 Oneil Crescent

You may remember a few weeks ago some troubles we were having with the people upstairs in our house. 4:30 in the morning...noise...snoody comments, Lucille lives upstairs and she has a lawyer friend over who thinks that Tara and I are too young to be married...anyways if you need more information check out this post.

So basically Lucille was being a jerk about being noisy at 4:30 in the morning, and I decided to be as civil as possible, and shovel her driveway in the morning. Since then things have been extremely pleasant.

Today, while I was out buying bacon for some BLT's Lucille came to our basement suite and told Tara in a very apologetic voice that she would be having some friends over for a staff gathering, they might be a bit noisy but she'll try and keep it as quiet as possible and they're planning to be out of the house by 10:00 but just in case we're wondering what's going on she wanted to let us know ahead of time. She was sincerely concerned about being too noisy and she wanted to let us know that she would try and keep it under control.

I've gotta say that I'm really glad things have turned out this way. I like Lucille. She has nice kids...although every time I see them when I get home they have a video camera and they always tape me as I make my way to our suite. The young boy always says "and here's our neighbour with the bushy hair." His name is Connor. He's funny.

So basically Lucille and the Anderson's are the best of friends. I've gotta say that I'm very grateful that God granted me to patience to not lash out at Lucille and Bonnie when they were being absolutely ridiculous that night. I am certain that if I had called the landlord or done anything like that things would be a lot more stressful at 70 Oneil.

saskatchewan is great

So over the past couple days there's been a couple things I'd like to share about. Instead of doing 3 separate posts, I figured I'd lump them together.
First I think it is fantastic how the city of Saskatoon has instilled fear in every driver who makes their way through the intersection at Ave. C and Circle Dr which is carefully guared with several red-light cameras. I fully understand the fear as I got danked with a $220 ticket for making a questionable left turn on a red light. The other day, as Tara and I were heading to her mom's house, Tara was reminding me to be cautious as we headed towards the fateful intersection. We were well back from the intersection when the light turned yellow so I began to slow down. Well I was obviously not the only one worried about the cameras...there was a Ford half-ton truck that was about 2 feet from the white line when the light turned yellow. Most drivers understand that in this situation it is okay to proceed cautiously. Not this dude. He hammered on his brakes skidding to a stop in the middle of the intersection. He then had to pull a Moose Jaw and reverse back to the stop line. Tara and I laughed. A lot.

Jerry Seinfeld does a great stand-up bit about old-people behind the wheel. "At what age do you decide, 'I'm old and I'm coming back.'" Today on my way to Church a car backed out their driveway right infront of me. I barely had time to swerve around the vehicle and catch a glimpse of the grey haired, wrinkly skinned, arthritis stricken lady behind the wheel. I'm sure she's a sweet gal and all, but seriously...being old does not give you a license to drive however you want. Can't they just be happy with their own menus at restaurants and 10% discounts on Tuesdays at Smittys.

Driving down the Dalmeny highway makes me feel like I grew up in a remote village. You know the one's you hear about that are so far north that there's no real highway into the town, only a beat up path that only Jeeps can make it through at a pace of 60km/hour. Seriously the size of the potholes on that road reminds me of those Nintendo racing games where you would have to navigate your way down a straight road with the odd curve, making sure you dodge the random pits that your car could fall into. At one point on the Dalmeny highway you come to a patch that looks like a huge dirt pile that someone accidentally dropped out of their dumptruck. I had to throw my Corolla into 4 x 4 in order to make it past the offroad patch found in the middle of the road. The best part is, no one seems to do anything about the road. Over the past couple months the highway has gotten significantly worse and worse, but no one patches it up or clears away the rubble. There are huge chunks of busted asphault all over the road. It's like driving through Bhagdad. I think next Sunday I'm just gonna drive all the way down Highway 11 and take the gravel road (powerline road) into town. Less bumps, less massive holes, less random chunks of asphault and it's nice because you feel like you're just a little bit further from Langham that way.

Betrayal of the highest degree

So here I sit, in my bedroom...alone. It's 10:33 pm Wednesday night. Where is Tara? you might ask. Shouldn't she be studying for her massive amounts of finals next week. Yes she should.

Let me back up. Every Wednesday I go to a 'bible' study at Colin Bendell's place. While I'm at the Bible study Tara goes to sign language class (oh what a sweet heart, caring for this in need...ya just wait a bit).

Let me back up a little further. Tara and I love the TV show Lost. But we can't ever watch it Wednesday due to our schedules so we usually download it and watch it later in the week.

So tonight Colin says that Lost is on TV, and he wants to know if anyone would like to watch it. Immediately I shake my head and say "Tara would kill me. There's no way I can watch it without her." I think I also added "I love my wife way to much to do that to her." The temptation was there, but I came out on top. On the drive home I was thinking to myself how fun it will be to watch Lost tomorrow with my wife, whom I love and who loves me dearly.

So I get home, open the door and notice Tara is on the couch watching TV.

"Curt. I did something bad."


Well I guess I'll be watching Lost tomorrow by myself.
Alone.
Just like I am right now as Tara continues to watch episode 18.

Cali friggin fornia

So this past weekend we had our staff training for Cal Break. I'm pretty sure Tara only peed her pants twice the whole weekend, which is pretty good. I have to say that I am beyond excited for this trip. I mean it's california people. Wow. Tara can't believe that she gets to go to DisneyLand. I can't believe that the Goliath ride at six flags is 225 feet high. A couple of things I'm hoping to see in California:

- a surf board underneath my feet
- a fat wave underneath a surfboard underneath my feet
- someone get puked on
- someone wearing one of those sombreros that is actually a giant piece of tortilla that you eat
- a gipsy
- a big muscly guy with a really dark tan and a tiny bathing suit trip over a sand castle or fall in a hole
- a kid feeling sick with mad diarrhoea because they ate something bad in tijuana
- a $50 bill (US of course) lying on the ground...and then going into my pocket
- In 'n Out Burger
- a guy with a big beard walking around in Salt Lake city with 9 ladies following him, each pushing a stroller
- someone get stung by a jellyfish and someone else volunteer to pee on the wound
- thousands of coins falling out of the slot machine I just put a nickel into (don't tell James)
- a board shop that gives away free stickers...tons and tons of stickers...for free
- my wife wet her pants when she meets Mickey Mouse (I'm not kidding, I'm making her buy some depends before the trip...seriously I'm not joking)
- governor Swartzeneger
- a midget family of 6 with one daughter that is like 5'10
- someone with pink zinc on their nose
- The Harlem Globetrotters playing street ball in Harlem
- someone tap James on the shouler, thinking he's a lady
- someone puke on the fastest ride...a ride that so fast that the puke just stays in their mouth
- Kobe Bryant
- an elvis inpersonater
- one of Elizabeth Taylor's ex-husbands

If I can see all those things the trip will be a succes.

We live in a basement suite

So me and Tara Jean got this deadly basement suite that we live in. It's basically one big room that has a bedroom and a bathroom attached to it. One wall has a lovely foam brick finish that gives the place a real cozy feel. The place comes with all kinds of nice features. Like the washing machine. Most washing machines are hooked up to a separate tap...not ours. We have to roll it out to the kitchen sink and hook it up to the tap. You're probably thinking "Oh he's talking about the dishwasher, not the normal washing machine." Well if you're thinking that you are wrong. We don't have a dishwashing machine. At least Tara doesn't like it when I call her that. Our normal clothes washing machine hooks up to our kitchen tap. I know what you're thinking...and you're right, it's pretty friggin' radical. The best is when I get home from running errands (like this afternoon) and I come home to a floor full of water. Woo Hoo. It turns out the pipes below the sink were leaking, filling up all our tupperware with water. Hey, you never know when our water supply is going to run out. I'm thinking that we'll just store the water, just in case. Remember Y2K. My mom filled up about 5 2 litre bottles of water. I'm thinking that we'll do the same thing. So the repair guy is coming Monday to fix our taps. Maybe if I convince Tara to wear a tiny little outfit around the kitchen when he's here I could get him to actually hook the washing machine up to a separate tap...like it already should be.